Wow! How Long Am I Gone?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008 @ 5:14 pm
Wow! I've been missing for quite some time eh? Well, quite busy and I've no time to blog in yea? Well, what the heck, i'll try to update as often for now, not that anyone would even read my blog. Haha. Maybe, it's kinda stupid, that I've not linked anyone and yadayadayada but, i dun wanna expose my blog to too many people. Well, once again kinda stupid, yeah I know,I mean with Internet and all but... Oh, what the heck. I'm just wanting to have a blog to keep me occupied when I'm really bored to the core.
Well, recently for the past few months that i'm absent, lotsa things happen to me everyday. Good things, bad things. I know it's weird, but I just don't find my life meaningful... I mean, compared to my brother, who is like good in everything, I just feel so awkward having to stand beside him and I just feel so Little. Thou, the funny thing is that he's younger than me. Hah! Well, I just don't think that I'm living life to the fullest, no matter how hard I've tried, the outcome is always the same, NOTHING. Well, mebe I'm looking down on myself too much, but yeah, this is what I feel everyday, thou if u ask my friends, they know me as someone who's always happy, cracking up jokes and all, but, that is so the opposite of me. I mean, I have a lot of dilemmas right now, but yea, I just have to keep it to myself. I mean, who's interested in knowing anyway? Even if they are, i'm just gonna trouble them more. Yeah, those who knew me well, would say i'm secretive and alwauys keeping my true feelings and thoughts away from them. Guys, i'm sorry, but sometimes, most of what I say about myself about how happy and elated I am everyday is just fake. I'm not a liar but, i just don't want you guys to be worried sick bout me. Esp my Gfs. I know them too well.
Well, just drop this topic about my self confesion and all this emo stuff. Haha! Wokay! Let's move on... Well, last two days, i've reset for my math re-test. Well, it's quite manageable but I just leave evth to God, whether he wants me to move on next year or not. What I know, is that I've given my very very best in that test. Haha, apa nak buat, serahkan kepada takdir je lah. Just pray hard that I'll be promoted to 4E1 next year. I really do. I wanna continue LITERATURE cz it rociks my socks! Hey, only certain people can appreciate LITERATURE ok? Haha, and i'm one of them. (Tngh kembang- kembang sendiri) Haha... Well, talking about LITERATURE, I actually dreamt of going to UK cz that's where most of the quality poets and Literary people came from. Like, WILLIAM SHAKESPERE (wait, did I spell his name correctly? haha, so much for being a Literary person eh? ) But, seriously, if you have the chance to go there, i promise u, u'll be mesmerized by the surroundings. I've been there before, haha, I've been there while surfing the Net. Got it? Well, it's ok if you don't. (; I promise, i'm gonna save a lot of money and go UK for my honeymoon in the future. Haha, pardon me, i'm always thinking far. Talking about the future, ( I know, u guys will be like " She she goes again, when is she ever gonna stop? ) ...
I wanna be a counsellor for those children and teenagers in trouble, trouble not as in the "help help!" kinda thing but, trouble as in the " It's a matter of life and death and coping with everything around me" kinda thing like child abuse. I mean reading books like those from DAVE PELZER, CONSTANCE BRISCOE and SAMEEM ALI inspired me to choose this career in the future. I mean, I find those people wwho abuses and mistreat children and teens so inhuman, sickening and rubbish esp if the people they abuse are blood related to them. And I hope that in the future, if I successfully achieve my dreams, i'm gonna help reduce all this nonsense and wanna be there to stand by those children in trouble. It's a big dream to achieve, but i'll work it out step by step. Pray for my success yea?
Well, this three people i've mentioned above, they are really my idol. I mean i'm astounded as to how they manage to pull thru all those hard times and now, very successful people who have accomplished a sense of glory in their lives. These are what I call silent achievement.
Wow! Such a long post for missing for about 3 months +++. Haha, holidays. Good time to relax and put your feeet up but, such a bore.
Gosh! I really miss tons of people esp my Gfs, 3E1 and my teachers. Well, lotsa dates and activities heading throughout my hols so yeah, I'll try my best to update as often as possible. Ciao people.
Me loves ya all! Muackz!
