Monday, February 09, 2009 @ 7:56 pm
2nd post... Feel kinda down currently... Ok, maybe Eesha was right. I do have emotional upsets most of the time and I do need to talk abt it to others... Well, I promised Kak Juli to be more open, have to work on it, so, I guess, she's my target. Love her, really, she's patient and is a good and keen listener...
Viewed his friendster. I dunno why all of a sudden I felt so sad, really. I mean, I'm over him, but when I have that sudden weird feeling, I guess,not... I can't lie to myself, I still have a small part in me that I can't forget abt him at all. How long, I'm not sure. I miss his presence, despite all the freaking shits he has done towards me, but there are times, most times, when he's nice to me and all. I guess, I miss having someone close to, basically a guy. Hey, dun get me wrong, I'm not a bimbo or smth, but he's really the best 'guy friend' since Pri 2. But, now, we've gone our own ways. I do not mean to sound desperate, nor am I desperate, but I miss him, as a friend. I miss that friendship of ours.
And yea, a silent on-going 'conflict' is happening, without others noticing but, me and some others. I hate to be the middle person again. I just hope that it will end way bfr my Sweet Sixteen. And how I wish I could spent time with Kak Juli on my special day, but it's alright, I understand. Haha, so sry for blogging this, but I just want everyone to know that you've never failed to care and be there for me, even to worst fights of our friendships. I can't say this straight to your face, but hope you'll read this.
I'm sorry for being too judgemental on you some times and putting on much preasure on you with my tantrums and attitudes and my blow-ups and fights. I didn't mean to do anything of it at all, but I guess, what you say is right, the only way for me to avoid everything is to open up. And sorry for keeping a lot of things from you. ILY! =)
And friends, it has come to my realisation that you guys, are awesome. My primary school friends are nothing in my memory, all I had was to suffer under that tough going friendships, but you guys, are awesome. Ok, maybe to you, I'm blogging shit, but I'm really an Emoshit down here so just go with the flow ok? Haha... I know Farhana will be like rolling her eyes! And I rmb Hakim when he wanted to say Emo but spurt out Elmo in confidence. Ok, I should stop writing his name in my blog, or else my dearest bestie will be jealous. Hahaha.
Ok, I think I need to go counselling or smth and so have to take care of my health. It's deteriorating. Ok lah, feel much much better now.
And, I'll blog who's my ANGEL on 13th Feb.
Love, Khat.
XOXO
