Make A Change
Tuesday, December 29, 2009 @ 12:50 pm
Firstly, I still don't get it. Why do people still make a big fuss over who should win the SI? It's so freaking irritating. So what if another Malay guy won? Don't be racist lah for God's sake. OMG. Sezairi Sezali already won, so what? Accept the fact! He's not too bad after all. It's all over the radio yesterday. It's really irritating, I swear... It's so typical.
Secondly, I'm so Paranoid. I do not know where to go, if, God's willing, I'll be able to make it to a Polytechnic. It's so competitive like shit ah. So wth... Where to go for the tertiary level, what to take, what to do and yada yada yada. It's really bugging me. I woke up everyday, knowing that my results would come sooner or later. It's so depriving. I tried lots of things to take it off my mind, but to no avail. I'm just scared that I won't perform well, then how... It's not about wasting my parent's money, but it's also about my morale and myself. If I fail, people are going to open their bloody mouth and talk. If I pass, they'll do so too. If I pass, but not that well, they'll do so too. What's with these people? Like I'm not going to face much embarrassment enough. And all others were good at, was to compare, compare, compare. Wtf? Do these people even think of motivating the failures and make them stand up again to achieve the success that they've wanted? No. All these people do, were to open up their bloody mouths and talk and shun them. Where's the support? Where's the humanity? Where's the love? Like as if everyone wants to fail. Like as if everyone love failing. Like as if failing is their best thing. Like as if failing is something that they enjoy doing. Like as if failing is their all-time-favourite hobby. Failing is part of life. Failing is fate (unless if you don't put in effort, that's your fault), it's what God give. You can't go against God. All decisions are in His hand. You can only plan, but He's the one that will decide. I'm so sorry to be very emotional, but I just think that others shouldn't compare and shun others who fail. It really hurts to the core, knowing that everyone looks down on you, cause you are a failure. People expect more of you than you do, and if you perform well to your standard, and not to what they expect, they look down on you and blabber all nonsense. Get a life. It's hard for you to face the person you love failed, but it's even harder for the person himself to buck up, and face all discrimination. Even if you try all your might to pass, people will still discriminate you. Sheesh... It hurts cause you woke up everyday, scared of your own self, scared of hurting yourself again. You'll even be scared of trying, cause if you fail, you got the stupid discrimination tripled! Others say it so easily. Try and try, don't give up. Yes, it's true. But most importantly, where's the freaking support? I'm saying this on account of life experiences and also what I observed and what I heard from my friends. There's much to be pitied about.On the other hand, it's a good thing cause you have to learn how not to be too dependant on others for support. You have to support and motivate yourself to achieve the glory. You have to make your mental and spiritual state stronger, to ignore the discrimination and work on the failure. You'll always know that even the successful people around you do fail and look at what they've turn out now. Look at your parents, look at your teachers. I'm sure you've heard some of our teacher's failing experiences. I'm not trying to be a counsellor here, or a psychologists, but I just want to give self-assurance to myself and others. I have to let it out.
Guys(maybe I should refer to myself too), you guys have strive hard and have done all your might for the ' O' Levels. Be sure that God would repay your hard work. I know everyone is hoping for that. I can't deny it too. Just keep on praying to God. All the best!
Thirdly, this is the reason why I wanna be a counsellor. I want to be there for others at their failing moment in life. People laugh at me when I say this, but, I do not get it. It's not wrong to help others in need, even if it's only social work, even if you do not get any salary. What's wrong with doing a good deed? Don't you feel good? Like what I told my parents, I'm not going to take it as a career, but just as something that I could take up during my free time, to reach out to these kids. You know, be a volunteer. Maybe not too soon, but, in the future, I'll try it. I can even reach out to my friends and support them. That is also considered voluntary work. You sacrifice your busy schedule to sit down with your friends, and lend them your listening ear and make them feel good. This is not a waste of time. It's called care and love.
Lastly, pardon me if today's post is like a composition. It's freaking long, I know. Pardon me. To sum up: Accept the fact, move on, never give up, do not discriminate others, give your support to those who need it, show your love and care to others. Easy to say in one breath, spread the humanity. :) You'll feel good, trust me and others will enjoy having you around. And sorry about bitching lots of things in this post.
GTG, Ciao!
Love, Khat. :)
Labels: Letting My Thoughts Flow
